


engraved on me

by buzuki



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, basically yongsun thinks too much and byul is stressed out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 11:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12364425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzuki/pseuds/buzuki
Summary: The person whose room is beside Byulyi's cries every night for some reason. Byulyi is done with this.(or: Yongsun and Byulyi share a wall, a mutual dislike and a divine bond.)





	engraved on me

Byulyi has had enough of this.

This person who she shares a wall with is crying loudly.

Again.

On the first night she was curious about the event that made her wall-neighbor so sad. On the second, she herself had become a little bit heartbroken herself. Even though she didn't know the person nobody should be crying alone in their bedroom at 3 AM. But in the third, Byulyi is just overly annoyed, not being able to study properly for the third night in a row. It would've been fine normally, it isn't like Byulyi has the healthiest sleeping scheme in the campus. She could've endured it if it wasn't for the project she had to turn in a week later.

Which was only halfway done.

Great.

Fighting the urge to punch the walls, she gets up from her desk and makes her way to the kitchen. Late night snacks never fail to lift her mood up.

To her surprise, when she enters the kitchen in a sleepy state it isn't empty. Hyejin is crouched in front of the fridge, eating what is left from the cake they had made earlier.

Her eyes widen as she spots Byulyi at the threshold. "Please don't tell Seulgi unnie I'm eating all the leftovers."

Byul gives a hearty laugh at that, barely controlling herself in fear of waking their other roommate up. She grabs a spoon from a cabinet and sits on the floor, next to Hyejin. "I won't if you won't."

Hyejin makes room for her and gives her a wide grin. They eat in silence for a while, until Hyejin asks, "What are you doing up at this hour?"

Reminded of the distinct sobbing noises that are waiting for her in her room, Byulyi frowns. "I could ask the same to you."

"I had some reading to do."

Byulyi sighs, ready to complain about her disrespectful neighbor. "I have a project to do. But I can't get any work done."

"Why is that?"

"There's this girl crying! It was fine at first but this is the third day!"

Hyejin crosses her eyebrows, face confused as she takes the last piece of cake. "You're not making any sense unnie."

"I mean my neighbor. She keeps crying at unreasonable hours at night. Do you know who lives in the dorm beside ours?"

Their university dorm contains three bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen and a small shared space. Byulyi imagines the one next to theirs is similar too. Now she has to know which three people are living in it to find out the crying girl's identity.

Hyejin makes a thinking face, "Uh, I don't know... Maybe it's a ghost?"

Byulyi groans, making Hyejin grin wholeheartedly. "Please take this seriously. I'll fail if I don't turn this project in."

Hyejin gives in to Byul's whining, "Okay, okay. I'll ask around if anyone knows."

Byulyi mutters thanks to Hyejin and goes back to her bedroom, relieved to not hear the now familiar sobbing.

 

 

//

 

It's periodical, Byulyi realizes when the clock strucks midnight and the annoying sound begins again. How can someone manage to cry at the same time every day, Byulyi doesn't understand. But this needs to stop.

Byulyi gets out of her bedroom, closing the door furiously after her as if the cry-girl will hear it. (And maybe she can, since Byul can hear her sobs so clearly.) And goes straight into Hyejin's room.

Luckily she's not in some indecent situation, seated quietly in front of her desk. She turns to the source of movement, Byulyi herself.

"Unnie?"

"Have you found out who's living beside us?"

Hyejin's eyes go large and she smiles apologetically, "Oh. Yeah, I did. Sorry, I forgot to tell you."

Byulyi crosses her arms, expression impatient. "And?"

"One of them is called Jung Wheein. Apparently, we have microeconomics together."

"Yeah, yeah. So is she the one who's been crying constantly?"

"I don't know!" Hyejin starts to scold her, "I just asked around. What was I supposed to say? Do you know a girl that cries a lot at night?"

Byulyi knows that Hyejin can't but still doesn't let it go. "And? Who are the others?"

Hyejin shrugs, "I don't know."

"You're useless, really."

Byulyi goes back to her room with a defeated sigh, the sobbing noises welcoming her. What's up with this girl anyway? Why is she crying? Over a soulmate, maybe? But that didn't make any sense, soulmates were absolute. She has never met a person who actually broke up with their soulmate. The bond is permanent, tying two people together. Or perhaps this person's soulmate is... dead? But that shouldn't be the case either, Byul thinks. If the situation is like that the cry-girl would most likely be taking a break from school, let alone crying in her dorm. She glances at her empty wrist and shivers at the thought of losing a soulmate.

So the girl could be crying over something familial. Or... maybe she had gotten too attached to a fling? Nope, this can't be it. Byulyi isn't old fashioned, really. She actually would prefer it if her soulmate is experienced in... certain areas. But why would someone fall in love with a random person despite knowing there's something greater waiting?

Massaging her forehead Byulyi finally speaks up, hoping that the girl on the other side of the wall can hear her.

"Can you please stop crying?"

Like some sort of miracle, the voice stops after a good five minutes.

 

 

//

 

Only to restart the next day.

Byulyi had been having a pleasant evening, getting her work done. Until she hears the goddamn crying again. Slowly rising from little sniffs to sobs.

Byulyi is seriously thinking that she's going crazy, considering the possibility of imagining crying noises in the middle of the night. But that is just as ridiculous as the constant crying, if not more.

So Byulyi rises from her chair, ready to put an end to this nonsense. Not caring she still has her flimsy pajamas on, she goes out of the dorm, closer to the source of the noises.

Before she has time to think her actions through, she knocks on the door far away from gentle, nearly banging on it. The anger building up in her takes over the control of her brain.

Seconds later she is greeted by the sight of a very confused looking girl, peeking through the half-open door.

The first thing Byul notices is, she's very beautiful. Her features gentle and complimenting her face.(Byul can't help but glance down at her wrist to see if she has a soulmate mark. She doesn't.) The second is her eyes aren't red neither puffy. Which makes Byulyi ask, "You're not the one crying, are you?"

"Huh?" The pretty girl blanks.

"I live in the dorm beside yours. Someone's been crying every night."

The other girl blinks a few times before answering, "Oh... You mean Yongsun?"

Yongsun, Byulyi repeats in her head. So that's the girl's name. The girl who has made the last few nights unbearable for her. The reason of her sleepless state.

"Yeah. Can you call for her? I just want to talk."

The petite girl gives her a suspicious look but still does as she's told, still not opening the door wide. Well, if it had been Byul in her situation, she wouldn't open their door for a very angry looking girl in cartoon-based pajamas too.

After hearing shuffles made by movement and muffled whispers behind the door, finally comes a girl with brown hair. She's very pretty too, which makes Byulyi wonder how is everyone living in this dorm so attractive for a moment. But this doesn't make her anger go away. The girl says something like, "It's fine Joohyun, I'll handle this. Just go to sleep." before giving Byul her whole attention, her eyes big and red. Byulyi knows that she finally had found the cry-girl.

She has chubby cheeks and a quizzed expression that goes along with it. She should be younger than me, Byul thinks as she examines the other girl's features. The girl's looking at Byulyi curiously as if she doesn't know what this is about, which makes Byul's blood boil with anger.

"Stop crying." She orders all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry?" The other girl speaks, voice sharper than Byul had expected, "Who are you?"

"We share a wall." Byulyi tries to be civil at least, "You've been crying. Please stop."

Yongsun gives her a look like she's deciding to actually talk or shut the door to Byul's face. Then opens her mouth, "Don't you think you're being a little bit rude right now?"

"Me?" Byulyi exclaims, not believing her ears, "I'm rude even though you won't let me fucking sleep?"

Yongsun eyes glow with anger, "This is not a way to speak to your elders!"

Byulyi looks at the girl in front of her blankly, not understanding the question. "What elders? I'm a junior. Aren't you like... twelve?"

With that Yongsun audibly gasps, "I'm a senior!"

Byulyi chuckles at the absurdness of the situation, not buying the girl's cheap lie. "Hah, as if! Lying won't get you anywhere, you know. Just apologize while you still have the chance."

"Hold on." Yongsun growls, "You come at my doorstep at night, pick up a fight and claim that I'm twelve. And I have to apologize?"

"Exactly!"

"You're the one at fault!"

"You're the one who's not letting me work and sleep in peace! Why're you crying for anyway?"

"I... I'm watching reruns of my favorite drama!"

Their voices are raising and it's only a matter of seconds now someone who's trying to sleep reports them. But with the revolution of the thing that's making her suffer for the last few days is just a stupid drama Byulyi can't help but shout, "REALLY? AND YOU SAY YOU AREN'T 12? I TOLD YOU TO STOP CRYING LAST NIGHT, DIDN'T I?!"

"WATCH YOUR TONGUE! AND GIVE ME SOME RESPECT! I WOULD'VE IF YOU HAD ASKED NICELY!"

Before things get more heated up -before they get into a fistfight or something- she hears a door opening and closing and two pairs of arms holding her back, covering her mouth so she can't yell some more.

"Uh... we're so sorry." she hears Seulgi apologize as she tries to hold Byul down. "She's having a stressful month and ah─ Stop biting my hand!"

Byulyi finally coming to her senses, stops her movements and feels ashamed a little. She lets Hyejin and Seulgi drag her back into their dorm again wordlessly, not responding to Yongsun's cold gaze.

At least there is no crying when she gets back to her room.

 

//

 

"What?" Byulyi raises her voice, "What do you mean she's really a senior?"

Seulgi shrugs as they make their way to the class they shared. "You saw her bare-faced and in sleepwear. Of course she looked young."

Byulyi scoffs, mostly angry at herself for snapping like that. "How do you know her? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask, unnie. You only told Hyejin apparently."

"I know," Byulyi lets out a sigh, "I'm sorry."

Seulgi rubs her back in a friendly matter, giving off a positive vibe. "I'm sure it'll be fine. She probably isn't someone who holds grudges, right? She has such a cute face."

 

//

 

As it turns out, cute faced or not, Yongsun is someone who in fact holds grudges.

Byulyi unfortunately learns this when her classes end and as she's walking past the corridor their dorm is in she crosses paths with the, apparently, older girl.

She tries to say something, anything intelligible. But as soon as their eyes fall on each other the other girl quickens her steps, not even sparing Byulyi a single glance.

And while she's staring at the girl's back dumbly, Byulyi realizes that Seulgi had been right. The girl looked so much more mature with the right amount of makeup and decent clothes, not squirtle-themed pajamas.

She passes by a couple happily holding hands, their soulmarks connected and enters her dorm.

Yongsun makes extra noise that night, probably just to make sure that she can't get a decent night's sleep.

 

//

 

When a pair of soulmates touch each other for the first time, a name appears on their wrists. The name of their beloved, their partner, their other half. The experience should be as poetic as it sounds.

Byulyi knows this.

What she doesn't know at the moment is that she will have it, like everything else, the hard way.

She had been sitting in the library for a while before it happens. Studying for her oncoming exams, more like trying to sleep soundlessly without getting caught by the librarian lady. She jolts awake at some point and checks the time on her phone: 19.03

Deciding it's time to go back to the dorm and get some sleep or beg Yongsun for mercy so that she stops making so much noise at night, she gets up and takes the book she's been using as an uncomfortable pillow. She passes through countless shelves, trying to find the right place for the thick book. But another piece of literature catches her attention as she is nearing the novel section resulting her to stop keeping an eye on where she's going for a second and that's when it happens.

Someone's turning the corner as she's walking towards the shelves too. But Byulyi isn't looking where she's going, which ends with their bodies colliding, sending both of them to the floor.

Despite the pained noise that escapes her throat she gets back on her feet immediately, ready to apologize knowing she's at fault. In a weak attempt to help she grabs the other person's hand, hoping to gently make them get up.

That is until she realizes who the other person is.

Yongsun's glaring up at her, face tense with anger. She quickly withdraws the hand that is holding the other girl's, hoping not to spark more rage within her.

A heartbeat passes until─ until Byulyi feels something on her wrist, like a feather gently stroking it. And it can't be, no, no. Byul wants to say that's not logical but it strangely is, nothing indicating that, what Byulyi's thinking, wouldn't be true.

Byulyi finds the courage to look down to the now tickling area when she sees Yongsun do the same with the corner of her eye.

Simultaneously, she hears a 'no way' muttered disbelievingly and sees a name written in a handwriting that looks very much like hers.

Kim Yongsun.

No way indeed, she thinks dumbly.

They lock gazes for a short moment. Yongsun's face is completely red, eyes wide and mouth open. Byulyi had anticipated a slap, a yell or... a kiss? However, Yongsun gets up and does the most unexpected thing really. She just turns on her heels and starts walking─no, running to the opposite direction.

Feeling lost, Byulyi becomes aware of her surroundings suddenly. Some people in the library points at her and whispers. But Byulyi still can't understand what just happened.

 

//

 

Hours later, Seulgi and Hyejin greet her with overly worried expressions and loud screams.

"Where were you?" Hyejin scolds, "Have you been drinking?"

"We were so worried sick unnie!" Seulgi takes over, "We couldn't reach your phone and─Oh my God!"

Instead of answering Byulyi just raises her arm, making the writing on her skin visible. Her dormmates rush over her in an instant, more excited about this whole thing than Byulyi. Asking endless questions.

"Who is it?"

"How did it happen?"

"Was it romantic?"

"Did you kiss?"

Byulyi makes them read it, since she refuses to admit it out loud. Which makes them gasp collectively.

"Of course!" Seulgi shrieks happily, "It was fate unnie, it was fate!"

Byulyi, unable to untangle the knot in her throat, just nods and goes to her room, locking the door behind. She tries to get some sleep despite Seulgi and Hyejin's what is wrongs and tell mes.

She doesn't even sleep for a second.

The crying is back that night.

 

//

 

Yongsun is everywhere, Byulyi realizes.

She's in the library when she goes to study, she sitting along with her friends in the cafeteria when Byul waits in the long line to get lunch, she's there in her thoughts at the back of her mind like her own personal ghost and when Byul looks down just a slight a bit her name is there.

How didn't she notice the other girl's existence sooner? She's everywhere she goes.

The problem is, of course, that Yongsun does not acknowledge her presence at all. Whenever Byulyi spots her, she watches. Hopes older girl to make a move, a wave, a smile, a touch. But it never comes.

She knows Yongsun watches her too sometimes. She feels her piercing gaze on her but never turns to look back, scared of startling the other girl. She enjoys moments like these, feels that they have a mutual understanding at some level.

Still, she wonders, what sin did she commit to have a soulmate who hates her guts?

It's strange that she longs for someone who she doesn't even know. Who is Kim Yongsun anyway? Byul only knows that she's a year older and a business major. But the ache in her heart from not being able to talk to her grows from day to day.

At first Byulyi thought there might be some kind of mistake. After talking to Seulgi and Hyejin about the topic for days she admits, there can't be an error. There never is.

Coming to that conclusion at last, Byulyi sits on her bed and takes a deep breath. She knows the other girl is in her room, she hears distinct noises from the other side of the wall. Muffled voices coming from a television whose volume is far too high. (Byul thinks Yongsun's just doing that to annoy her.)

"Hey?" Byul starts hoping the other girl can hear, voice unsure, "Uhm... I know you hate me and stuff but, well, I want to talk to you."

And somehow it works because the volume of the television decreases as if it's trying to ask Byul to start talking.

"Erm," Byul goes on, "My name is Moon Byulyi. But you probably know that since, ah, it's on your wrist... And I'm sorry. I was having a horrible week and I took it on you with shouting an stuff." She gulps. "And I'm not just saying that because you're my─we're... you-know-what. I'm deeply sorry. Uh, also... you don't look twelve. I mean... you were wearing that black dress the other and that was...." Byul tries to find the right words. "Okay, maybe I should keep this to myself." There is still no response from the older girl. But Byulyi knows she's listening, since all the muffled voices had stopped. That or she has just left the room.

"Anyway... so, good night Yongsun."

 

//

 

Seulgi and Hyejin are getting worried.

Byulyi hadn't been going out of her room lately, let alone eat or sleep properly.

Whoever that Yongsun girl thinks she is, she can't make their unnie suffer like that. So one day, they sneak out of their dorm, ready to put an end to Byul's misery. They knock a few times before their neighbor's door opens by a very pretty girl.

"Hello?" The girl says, clearly confused and sleepy. She has short brown hair and a dimple. Clearly very pretty.

"Uh, hello." Seulgi steps up, being the older. "My name is Kang Seulgi and this is Ahn Hyejin. We live next door."

"Oh." The girl's eyes open with recognition, "You're Yongsun unnie's... soulmate's roommates."

Not missing the way the girl's voice going lower at the word soulmate Seulgi speaks again. "Yeah, we would like to talk to her. If it's possible."

The girl grimaces, shaking her head. "She's sleeping now. It's impossible to wake her up." She then smiles in a friendly way and extends her hand for Seulgi and Hyejin to shake. "Jung Wheein, by the way."

She gives Seulgi's hand a slight squeeze and moves on to Hyejin's. In a matter of seconds, their hands are linked and both look down in shock. Leaving Hyejin to wonder what the heck is happening. Which she gets immediately after seeing two names appear on two different wrists.

Jung Wheein

Ahn Hyejin

Seulgi doesn't want to ruin Hyejin's moment but that doesn't keep her from groaning loudly and exclaiming, "I can't believe this is happening." She's not sure the other two had heard her since they're looking into each other's eyes, lost in their own world. Their faces are getting dangerously close, ready to make out or do something more. Seulgi frowns at the thought and sighs, going back to her own dorm.

"Get back when you're done Hyejinnie."

 

//

 

Byulyi is miserable.

Right now, she's in her room waiting for her roommates to come back home so she can have someone to whine. It's actually quite late at night, knowing that they will be back late Byulyi doesn't lock the door. She's going crazy, trying to find something to pull her out of her own boredom.

Ever since Hyejin had found her soulmate, Wheein, they're practically attached at the hip, spending as much as time together. Byulyi is happy for her friend really. But some small part of her can't help but wonder why she can't have that. Instead she's stuck with Kim Yongsun, obligated to watch her stupidly perfect form from afar.

On the other hand, the other girl is slowly accepting her presence. Probably because Hyejin's always with Wheein and Wheein is friends with Yongsun. Which puts them in an awkward situation, making them often hang out in the same group. At least it makes Yongsun hold eye contact with her, even quietly mumbling morning or good night under her breath when they meet by chance in the halls.

It's ridiculous that makes Byulyi happy. But it does, oh God, how it does. Every time she locks eyes with the older girl, she feels like she had stolen a moment from heaven. Maybe Yongsun can feel it too, she dreams.

Thinking this while trying to go forward and back with her chair she loses her concentration for a second which results in her stumbling on the floor, falling right on her face with a loud crash. Her head hits the side of her bed. She howls with pain and tries to touch her face, only to feel blood on her hands. Attempting to get up doesn't work since her head is spinning. So there's only one choice now for her: waiting for her roommates in pain.

Not even a minute later, when she's trying to locate where exactly is she bleeding, she hears footsteps, someone coming closer with urgency. Hyejin or Seulgi trying not to pass curfew, maybe. Either way Byulyi is glad because her face is so much in pain right now.

But then the door of her bedroom flings open, revealing a girl with a horrified expression. The person comes closer and closer, until she crouches down next to Byul.

What the hell is Kim Yongsun doing here?

"Byulyi?" She hears her voice, somehow gentle yet alarmed. "Byulyi, can you hear me?"

All Byulyi can do is nod which makes her head hurt even more.

"Okay, okay, okay." Yongsun lets out a shaky breath, "It's okay. You're fine."

Byulyi thinks the older girl is trying to calm herself down rather than her but doesn't say anything. She's bleeding all over the carpet but she is also absurdly glad to see Yongsun caring about her.

Yongsun suddenly circles her arms around her, making her secure and lifts her up without warning. Byulyi gasps half from the pain and half from the surprise comes with the fact that her soulmate has so many muscles. Does she work out? _Wow_.

"I'm taking you to the infirmary."

Making a noise which she hopes sounds compromising, Byul lets herself to be carried.

 

//

 

Hours later, at some odd hour at night (or morning?) Byulyi wakes up. She is surprised when she finds herself in somewhere completely different than her room. She turns her head and sees the prettiest girl ever sleeping soundlessly on a chair beside the bed she's in.

"Yongsun-sshi?" She calls despite herself, her voice hoarse.

The girl doesn't even flinch, giving no sign of waking up so Byulyi reaches out, poking one of her cheeks repeatedly.

And finally Yongsun's eyes flutter open. She rubs her eyes sleepily before yawning, the act making Byul's heart beat faster. "Hmm?"

"Yongsun-sshi?"

The elder becomes aware and gets up from the chair immediately. "You woke up."

"I could say the same about you." Byulyi jokes, "What happened?"

Yongsun takes her time before answering, arranges pillows so Byul is comfortable, examines Byul's head. "You passed out as I was taking you to the infirmary. Then the nurse looked at your injury. She said that you were fine but then I insisted on calling an ambulance, you hit your head you know. It could be dangerous. So we took you to hospital." She's speaking quickly like if she slows down she's going to skip something important. "The doctor said you are fine but you need to rest. So I called your dormmates. Seulgi was going to stay with you but the hospital only allows family and, um, soulmates to accompany the patients at night."

Hearing Yongsun's explanation Byulyi can' t help but smile despite the pain in her head. "And you are," She says dreamily, "My soulmate, I mean."

She doesn't miss the way Yongsun's face reddens even in the dark room. "I am."

Maybe she's still under the effect of some painkillers or stuff because even though she wants to stop talking she can't. "I'm glad... to have found you. The part where you ignored me for weeks honestly made me suffer."

Yongsun chuckles a little bit before collecting her calmness again. "I don't think you are in your right mind."

"Does it matter? Ask me tomorrow, I'll tell you the same thing. Or forty years later. Anytime. I don't know about love yet but I really like you."

Yongsun drums her fingers through the chair she's sitting, face thoughtful. "You don't even know me."

"So? I'm willing to know you." Byulyi states, "Because when I see you... I feel this..." She gestures to the gap between them. "This─this thing. Like we could be great, magnificent even. Do you feel it too?"

Yongsun alerts her eyes from her gaze and Byulyi knows that she feels it too. Feeling a little bit braver she continues, "Has anyone ever told you that you are beautiful?"

Just as Yongsun opens her mouth to answer Byulyi beats her to it. "You know what, don't answer that. I feel like I'll be very, very jealous."

With that, Yongsun's a blushing, stuttering mess and Byulyi loves it. "You...I─ Moon Byulyi! Stop saying weird stuff."

"Is that still weird if it's true though?"

"It's─go to sleep, you hit your head!"

 

//

 

She doesn't see Yongsun for a few days later after she gets sent home from the hospital she sees Yongsun. Under different circumstances she would really congratulate the elder for being so successful at avoiding her since they live next to each other and Byulyi is always seeking for her presence at everywhere she goes.

But the worst part is, of course, the crying is back on. Now the noise is more reduced and careful, only appearing at 5 AM or later. Despite Yongsun calculating the best time for a good cry Byul wouldn't hear, she is missing something: Byulyi is the lightest sleeper. So she wakes up and doesn't understand the situation for a few minutes, just stares at the emptiness sleepily.But then she hears Yongsun's muffled sobs and sighs. She surely isn't watching a stupid drama now, Byulyi thinks.

She wants to comfort the other girl, take her in her arms and never let go but she isn't letting her, denying her attempts of getting closer. She wonders why sometimes. Should a few disrespectful words said out of anger be enough to risk a happy life along with one's soulmate?

Yongsun's sad. Byulyi is sure of that. She has a problem and it's wrecking her heart. Byulyi is delirious with the knowledge that she can't do anything about it unless Yongsun opens up to her. Byulyi has a feeling that Yongsun's dilemma has something to do with soulmates, meaning Byulyi. It's a dead end, a paradox Byulyi can't solve and it makes her heart hurt to see Yongsun hurt too.

She rolls around in her bed, sighs and decides to deal with all of this in the morning.

 

//

 

The next day -or later that day?- they run into each other at the cafeteria. Byulyi's waiting for Hyejin to come have lunch with her, but the younger girl is unsurprisingly late, probably somewhere with Wheein. By the miracle of some cosmic force or whatever Yongsun doesn't see her at first which gives Byulyi the opportunity to get closer to her soulmate.

She taps Yongsun on the shoulder and the elder jolts, startled.

"Oh," she says, turning to Byul, "You."

"Yeah, me." Byulyi replies a bit accusingly. Maybe she's madder at being ignored than she would like to think so, "I haven't seen you around."

Yongsun lets out a breath, eyes going between the ground and Byulyi's face. "I'm... sorry."

Byulyi pauses. She hadn't been expecting a proper respond, let alone an actual apology. "It's, um, okay. I'm sure you had your own reasons."

Byulyi hates that she suddenly becomes soft now that Yongsun is actually talking to her. However she can't help herself, maybe she's imagining it depending on her assumptions but the girl in question looks somewhat vulnerable and Byulyi would do anything to make her feel happy again. The worst of all is Byulyi can feel her sadness, her misery. She doesn't know what's causing it but she knows that the elder is not alright. In some kind of unfamiliar familiarity she feels their souls are deeply entwined, all of Yongsun's emotions echoing in Byulyi's mind.

So when Yongsun mumbles, "Yeah." softly, Byul doesn't ask more and asks to buy her coffee instead. To her surprise elder accepts and they settle in an empty table at a deserted corner of the cafeteria.

Byulyi talks first, a bit timidly, as Yongsun plays with the carton cup of her coffee. "So, have you been well?"

Yongsun looks up, a soft smile on her face. "I should've been the one asking that. Is your head okay?"

Byulyi blinks dumbly at the girl's beauty, so effortless yet so charming. "Uh, um, it's alright. It still hurts when I press certain areas though."

"Hmm," Yongsun moves her fingers on her cup absently, "I'm sorry to hear that."

Byulyi didn't know if she was honestly sorry or just saying that. "Yongsun," she begins, "You still cry at night."

The elder looks puzzled for a second until she regains her composure, "That's... because the drama I'm watching─"

"We both know that's a lie." Byulyi interrupts, voice fierce. "Talk to me, so that I can help you."

Yongsun's eyes focus on hers, her expression unreadable. "I don't think you, of all people, can help me with this."

"Is it soulmate-related?"

Instead of answering, Yongsun simply nods.

"Can't you at least talk to me sometimes?" Byulyi is close to begging. "When you're not near me I feel... um, you know."

"I know."

"You feel it too?"

Yongsun looks away, her voice silent. "I do."

Finding hope within herself again, Byulyi slowly reaches for Yongsun's hand. She stops herself when their hands are just millimetres away, looks up to Yongsun as if to ask for permission. "Then, what's wrong?"

Yongsun pauses for a moment like she's really considering to hold Byulyi's hand and never let go. "What if," She says as she takes both of her hands off of the table and places them on her lap. "This... this whole thing is just because of a complicated psychological reaction?"

Byul stares at her, not understanding.

"What I mean is, when you tell someone that somebody is their other half they tend to love the other person. I don't─ I can't explain it."

She's looking at Byul with such intensity that she feels like burning. Her dark orbs fixated on her like she's searching for an answer in Byul's eyes.

"But isn't this a cruel thing to say?" Byulyi answers after a bit of thinking, "Other than tending to love the other person, don't they -we- fall in love steadily?"

Yongsun takes a sip of her coffee and then speaks again. "But then again, you feel like you have to love this person. You keep seeing the person because they're your soulmate, not because you like them from the beginning."

Byulyi has the urge to cover her soulmark, run away and hide somewhere. "The way I see it," She starts explaining with patience, "You feel this sudden pull towards your soulmate. It's your choice if you don't want to answer to this call, but you can't deny it's there. Maybe, most people choose to answer it, take the chance even though their first meeting with the said soulmate isn't so great."

"Then," Yongsun fights back, "If that pull you're talking about is true, are you saying that you've noticed me before the... the thing?"

"No. But after the thing," Byulyi stubbornly replies, "I've been thinking about you constantly. That's the pull."

Yongsun's face reddens the slightest bit but she still says, "Wouldn't that prove that you wouldn't like me if I wasn't your soulmate?"

"But the catch is," Byul says feeling like she's walking on thin ice, "You are my soulmate. Nothing can change that. And for the record, you're kind of a difficult person. I've been patient but you have to stop acting like you hate me. Because I know you don't. Please keep that in mind that your actions are affecting two people; you and me both."

Yongsun looks down, probably feeling guilty. "I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just..." She tosses her hair over her shoulder, "I used to believe in this soulmate thing, you know? I always dreamed of my soulmate, well, you. How would I meet them, how would I talk to them, how would I touch them... But then life happened. My parents... they separated. Which made me think, oh, they are soulmates, why did they separate?"

Byul listens to Yongsun with a sense of shock. Soulmates deciding to not be together anymore? It wasn't unheard of but Byulyi always thought it as something that happens to other people, people Byulyi has nothing to do with. Hearing Yongsun describe it so vividly almost makes Byul's head spin uncomfortably.

Trying to come up with an excuse, she argues back, "But... that's an exception, right? Also, maybe one day they can get back together."

"They can't," Yongsun looks up all of a sudden, her eyes filled with some kind fire Byulyi can't seem to understand, "My father died a few weeks ago."

Byulyi takes a step back with the sudden reveal, mouth gaping open. It explains a lot, Byulyi thinks. Yet she wishes she hadn't heard it.

If she hadn't, she could've still been living in sweet ignorance. Feeling the bliss of having the right of blaming Yongsun for ignoring her.

She sees Yongsun tear up but can't do anything about it. She can't even whisper, I'll always be there for you or It saddens me to see you sad because she knows, she feels, that Yongsun won't believe her. "I'm sorry to hear that." She manages to say in the end.

Yongsun nods, using the sleeves of her shirt to wipe her tears. "It's okay. I owed you an explanation."

An uncomfortable silence settles in between them and finding something to say gets harder and harder the more it stretches. Byul's eyes go between their soulmarks, Yongsun's cup of coffee, the print of her shirt...

It's surprisingly Yongsun who breaks the silence, gulping before starting her monologue. "But I must tell you, a small part of me still believes."

"H-huh?"

"I thought I have given up, before I met you. But you─ this pull you're talking about... I feel it too." Yongsun states, "I don't know if it's real or because of some uncontrollable circumstances. But I also think about you a lot."

"Where does it leave us then?" Byul asks, getting more confused by every sentence Yongsun utters. "You aren't sure if you believe in soulmates, but you know we are soulmates since you feel it. What do you want to do with me? Please tell me."

There's a desperate edge in her voice, a helplessness she hadn't seen in anyone ever. When their eyes meet she wonders for a brief moment, does Yongsun see through her as they speak? Does she feel Byul's sadness along with her own uncertainty?

"I need time to think." Yongsun says after a long pause, "Please try to understand."

 

//

 

The next time they see each other they are strangely civil.

They are at some kind of house party. And when Byulyi spots Yongsun in the crowded living room, she's genuinely surprised at Yongsun actually showing up at a party.

A while later they greet each other when they are both getting a drink in the kitchen. And Byul thinks that's it until─

There's this girl called Yunhee. She's in Byul's literature class. She's a nice girl, really. Dyed blonde hair, makeup on point and a laid-back aura. They even went out on a few dates.

Yunhee finds her between sweaty bodies dancing together and whispers in her ear, trying to be heard despite the loud EDM music.

"Haven't seen you for a while."

"Yeah." Byulyi shouts, "I've been busy."

The other girl is so close that she can smell the alcohol on Yunhee's breath.

"Wanna be busy with something else?"

Yunhee's breasts are pressed against her side, waking something inside Byulyi. She's been too stressed lately to think about _that_ stuff, but now, with alcohol in her blood and a hot girl beside her she's almost losing her calmness. Almost giving in to the urge of forgetting everything, forgetting Yongsun, she opens her mouth to give Yunhee an answer. Only to be shushed completely when she notices the new figure crawling her way through the drunk mess that is college students.

She's greeted with Yongsun's piercing, cold gaze and not long after her arm reaches out for her. Byulyi lets herself to be harshly pulled by the older girl towards a semi-deserted place, the only people around being the ones that are actually out of it, sleeping soundly.

Yongsun's jealous, she realizes. The elder's chin tilted to the side tensely, her posture more aggressive than the usual. The realization makes her feel happiness, anger and a parade of other emotions in a flash.

"What do you think you are doing?" Byul hisses, tired of everything.

"Well, what do you think _you_ are doing?" Yongsun answers, equally frustrated.

"What is it to you?"

"To me?" Yongsun exclaims in disbelief, "That girl was trying to... You're my soulmate."

"Says the one who doesn't believe in soulmates."

"I didn't say that!" Yongsun huffs, "I said our minds can be influenced by society's pressure of being with your soulmate constantly."

"Do you know why people are with their soulmates until they die?" Byulyi spits angrily, "Because they fucking love them and want to be with each other! I'm sorry about your parents, I really am. But it's one case out of millions. And I'm really tired of this."

Yongsun is silent for a while. "Then, do you love me?"

"No, Yongsun," Byulyi has the urge to sit down, "But that's only because you're not letting me love you."

"Okay," Yongsun says softly, as if she just made up her mind, "Love me then. Show me how soulmates are real."

 

//

 

Just after a few days spent with Byulyi, Kim Yongsun realizes, the younger girl has a charisma on her own. Maybe she hadn't noticed it sooner because she had been so focused on not having feelings for her which fails miserably.

Their talk at the party being the last straw, Yongsun can't stop the dam of feelings she feels for the younger anymore. They're leaking, replacing Yongsun's rational thoughts with lovesick ones.

"Yongsun?" Byulyi calls, voice impatient as she's waiting for Yongsun to get out of her dreamland, "Do you want to get some ice cream?"

The last few days had been wonderful to Yongsun's horror. Byul is thoughtful, charming, cute, beautiful and everything good in this stupid world. She's falling fast, out of control ever since she had said those words to Byul at the party when her mind was still clouded by the hostile monster that is jealousy.

"Depends," She jokes, "Are you paying?"

Byulyi shrugs, "If you want me to."

The fragile atmosphere that was once between them is gone now, replaced with a friendly and relaxed one. They still don't do couple stuff though. Yongsun can tell Byul is holding herself back, trying to not scare her away.

"No." Yongsun decides firmly, "I'll pay."

This is the closest thing to thank you she has.

 

//

 

"Hmm," Byulyi starts later that day as they share a huge pile of ice cream, "The mint one's really good."

The streaks of sunlight are playing with the color of her eyes, making her brown orbs look softer. She's one of those people who smile with their whole aura, Yongsun notes, it makes her happy when Byulyi is happy. Now the air around them is buzzing with joy. Yongsun wants to snap a picture of that moment, holding it in her memory forever.

She had fallen.

She had always thought she would be scared, terrified of letting go of her beliefs. But she's not, not with Byulyi at her side.

She's in love with Byulyi and none of her little worries matter anymore. So what if they might separate one day? This is a risk Yongsun's willing to take because there's this warmth no one else really has when it comes to Byulyi. She doesn't care as soon as she has the younger's company alongside with her.

She realizes Byulyi's looking up to her with a soft smile, amusement present in her eyes. "You've been zoning out too much today."

Yongsun opens her mouth to answer but decides against it, "You have ice cream on your face."

"Oh? Where?"

Yongsun wonders where should she say the imaginary ice creams are for a second but then another idea comes. She decides abruptly, she won't be running away from Byul anymore, only will reach towards her steadily.

She kisses Byulyi right on the mouth, tastes the mint flavored ice cream and her strawberry chapstick.

"There." She mumbles when they part, out of breath but with ongoing ecstasy.

She feels Byul trying to even her breathing, talking between sharp intakes. "Really? You want this? Please?"

Yongsun doesn't answer, just kisses her for longer this time. Only the second of many kisses to come.

 


End file.
